Friday, November 22, 2013

Some Thoughts for Moms from Moms

A few months ago I asked my friends, via Facebook, if they would share some words of wisdom for a first-time mom.  I wanted to share these wonderful words with you...


CK: 1.Try to remember to enjoy EVERY moment - good and bad; because it is a "season of life" that will pass faster than you could ever imagine. 2. Write down the cute things that your kids say and do (even the things that they do over and over a million times that you swear you will never forget)...because you WILL forget.

DJ: 1- Trust yourself! You can read and research all you want if there are things you want some insight on, but YOU were MADE to do this, and you can! 2- Decide what would help you most (sometimes that means someone holds the baby while you take a shower or a nap or both, sometimes that means you and the baby hideout while someone does the dishes or makes dinner) and let people help you! 3- Your little one WILL cry and at times there might not be anything you can do about it but endure it. If you need a few minutes to step away and gather yourself, do it!

KT: In little ones, focus less on academics and more on love. I'd rather know a loving, respectful and compassionate adult than a genius. We are raising adults, instill the traits you would want to see in a friend. Academics will come, they will learn, but compassion for others is something not everyone soaks in.

TP: Something that affected me and many friends I know, is feeling great guilt over not being always gushy about being a mother to a newborn. Women make motherhood sound like a bed of roses, but the duties don't always feel that way so the guilt sets in, because you read how happy and gushy everyone is feeling over their child. Please don't get me wrong here, I LOVE my son and would do all of it over again, but the gush isn't in all of the exhausting days and nights. The gush is in an unexplainable connection that God truly blesses a mother with for her child. So my point is, it's normal to feel tired, frustrated or even cranky at times (for me due to extreme lack of sleep), but that doesn't mean that sweet amazing connection is not just as real.

ER: 1) Your baby is a unique individual with unique needs- listen to your baby and try to be sensitive to them. They are just trying to adjust to the outside world the best they can. 2) try to enjoy and savor more and stress less. Anxiety doesn't help anyone

NB: Your kids will have the most time for you from age 0-4. Guard it; it is precious.

AL: Advice for first time moms is simple, make sure before you get stressed, too tired, panic, or frustrated- to take a time out and breathe.  We often get caught in the trap of keeping things so tailored that we miss the silliness in those moments.

RP: 1) Go with your gut. I feel like God gives us mothers that instinct for a reasoning. If something doesn't feel right to you, don't do it no matter how many people "swear" by it! Listening to your baby's needs will never steer you wrong.  2) Enjoy the cuddles as much as you can. The laundry and dishes can wait. Our babies grow up too fast and those moments of snuggles really do end quicker than we would like.

LH: 1. Trust will worry yourself sick thinking about the "how will I know's"...."how will I know why he's crying"..."how will I know if he's eaten enough"..."how will I know if he's too warm or too cold"... trust that your instinct is the perfect guide...we were made to do this.
2. Know that you will be tired for years to come, your hairstyle will now be a ponytail and your house will probably not be company ready all the time...but that's're working hard to raise a child...the other stuff is not a big deal at the end of the day.
3. A sound machine in the nursery is a must have!!!

RG: When you feel overwhelmed remember time flies. One day you’re holding that tiny crying baby and before you realize what's happening you're packing them for college. Time flies.

HD: 1. Nothing will last forever- whether it's the cute little dance they are doing or the sleepless nights. Meaning take lots of pictures and videos because they won't do that "too cute" thing for long and don't stress about the others because they won't last forever. 2. You can do more than you think you can on less sleep then you ever thought you could! 3. If you are a stay at home mommy remember your list will change. I am a checklist person and I had to realize some days my list just consisted of holding and comforting my baby. Feel accomplished everyday as you mold, teach, and love on that sweet baby! You can vacuum when they go off to school.

JL: 1. Just as too many people obsess over a wedding instead of a marriage, don't fixate on the delivery over raising a child to love the Lord. So many people make such a big deal about having the perfect delivery experience...including me. I spent too much energy being devastated over the fact that I had to have a c-section. What does it matter if the healthy baby is in your arms at the end of the day? 2. Trust that the Lord has a special place in his heart for tired mamas. He knows you're exhausted. And he knows your needs. You're stronger than you think you are and can keep going on very little sleep longer than you think you can. 3. Pray! Pray about it all. Give thanks for each little miracle and ask for help for what may seem like the most trivial thing. Then hug that little baby and laugh together!

KK: 1) Extend grace to your children and yourself often 2) Schedules always change - don't get overly excited when the baby finally starts napping well and don't get upset when he wakes up wide-awake at 5am. Each week brings something different and just when you think you've got everything figured out it changes. 3) Get down on your child’s level and talk to them while looking into their eyes throughout the day 4) There isn't a perfect way to raise a child and what works for the first may or may not work with the others. Seek God's guidance for each child above anything you'll read in a book. I feel like I've felt the need to search for the "perfect" answer to the numerous issues we've dealt with instead of first pouring into the Bible and prayer. 5) Every day I look at both of them and marvel at God's handiwork and thank Him for the miracle that they are. Even though I'm weary from an often times defiant toddler and a baby who still doesn't sleep through the night, I feel like God has given me a great perspective - I cherish these fleeting days when they still fit in my arms and I can kiss away any boo-boo. I try to play more, hug more, and listen more. The housework will always be there, but they are growing up so fast and I don't want to look back on this time and feel like I was constantly on the go doing meaningless tasks. 6) Keep your priorities all things unseen (this hangs on our fridge - Yes, the dishes and laundry have to be done, but they should not be my focus. The unseen eternal impact I’m making on my children needs to be my top priority.